8 Weeks To Go

I know that at some point, I'll look back on these lazy pregnant days longingly. Maybe you and I will sit down and read about what being pregnant was like by thumbing through the print outs of this blog. You'll see how eagerly anticipated you were....by everyone (but particularly by me!).

Right now though, being pregnant is getting a lot tougher. I'm increasibly uncomfortable and irritable. My back is really starting to bother me. I keep thinking that if I weren't overweight, my back wouldn't be hurting so much. Although this may be true, it's not a particularly self-loving thought, so I'm just trying to remember that I'm PREGNANT and that's a good enough reason for my back to be hurting.

When I do move around (take a walk, etc.) I feel good but then I get SO achy later on. I perpetually want to lay down - but then simultaneously hate the feeling that I'm not as mobile and don't have as much of a life as I want to have.

It's hot outside now - today is almost 90 degrees. And I think the heat alone could be the reason for my irritability. But, there's not much I can do in the way of controlling the weather.

The wonderful thing that's happening right now is that I'm feeling a real shift come over me. Instead of hypothesizing about what life will be like with a baby, I'm starting to be able to SEE and FEEL what having you finally be here will be like.

I have a larger-than-life urge to get the nursery ready. (It's a nesting instinct that happens to a lot of pregnant women when they hit 8+ months...) Your dad is helping me by carrying heavy boxes upstairs and by washing all of your newborn clothes so that they are clean and ready when you are ready to arrive into the world.

Your dad says that tyring to match newborn socks together (coming out of the dryer) is a very difficult thing to do. He worries that he won't get the hang of it, but I know he will.

We've ordered the dresser/changing table for your room and bought a little bookcase for your books and toys. I'm going to read and sing to you every day so you learn to love words and music.

We bought your car seat/stroller. It's not too girly and very light. You and I will have lots of fun taking walks together.

I'm getting my car detailed tomorrow morning so it's nice and clean when the car seat goes in. I also got the brakes checked today, just to make sure the car is SUPER safe for your first ride.

And you! You are moving and turning and kicking and dancing more than ever. You love it when I lie on my side and you've become increasingly responsive to your dad's voice. It's easy to see your kicks now. Every now and then, I can see your little foot when you really give a good kick.

I talk to you, especially when I'm in the nursery. But really, I like to think that I don't have to talk to you in order for you to hear me. Right now, we share the same vessel. So I imagine that you sense what I'm thinking. And if you have my intuition (which I'm pretty sure you do), you'll be able to sense lots of stuff about people, even after you're born.

Sometimes when I'm thinking about you (or sharing a though with you in my mind), you move around very suddenly as if to acknowledge that you've "heard" me. It's great. I feel like we have a private, sacred connection that no one knows about.

My maternity shirts are all dirty near the middle because I rub my belly so much.

I know that I'll always love you - but there are going to be times when we don't like each other much. You're going to wish you had a different mom - and I'm going to wish that being a mom wasn't so hard. But that's okay, it's totally normal.

I just hope that when those hard days come, I can look back to this time and remember how literally and spiritually connected we are right now. You may be my little girl, but right now you feel more like my soul mate.

I love you, little Sophie.

Shower #2 (NY)

This weekend was fun...I flew up to NY to attend a baby shower that Rosie and Leenie threw for me at Rosie's house. Mom and Erin were there - and lots of aunts, cousins, and little ones were there as well.

Here are some pics:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13411558@N00/sets/72057594142208164/show/

Only 10 weeks until you get here!!

I had a check up today - doing great...gained a pound since my last visit (2 weeks ago). I got to ask lots and lots and LOTS of questions of Kathryn, our midwife. Hopefully she'll be there when I go into labor but if not, one of the other midwives will be there. I'm going to my next three check ups with the other mid wives so I can get to know them a little bit....

I told Kathryn that I think you are coming early. She laughed and said that women who say that are usually the ones who have to be induced at 42 weeks.... I'm not so sure! I get the feeling you are ready to make your debut! I'm thinking somewhere around the middle of July.

Of course, it is wishful thinking on my part that I won't have to be 9 months pregnant at the end of July. But the timing is totally up to you - and I'm okay with that. :)

You continue to do somersaults and judo kicks all day. You must be the most active little baby ever!!

I'm flying up to New York this weekend for a baby shower, thrown by my aunts Leenie and Rosie. My mom and sister (your grandma and aunt) will be there too. Even your dad is coming to help me bring home the gifts! (He also loves NY pizza and I'm sure that's why he's really coming...)

Yesterday, your dad and I were on a long drive home to VA from Hilton Head....we talked about what we wish for you. Your dad said that he hopes you have great friends, people who are really good to you. I said that I hope you always have somewhere where you feel you belong. We both agreed that we hope you are interested by your world, your life, your opinions.

Mothers' Day

It's a weird thing to think about yourself celebrating Mothers' Day, since this day has always been about your mom up to this point.

My mom called this morning to sing Happy Mothers' Day to me (to the tune of Happy Birthday, of course). My sister emailed me a congratulatory note. And I've already done a couple of nice things for myself today... I started the morning by laying around in my pj's, reading a few wonderful books.

I finished Michael Odent's Birth Reborn and listed all the questions I have for my next check up. I thought of and visualized how I want the birth to happen for you and for me. I ruminated on opinions about typical medical procedures - which ones I accept and which ones I won't allow to happen. I wondered if I have the strength to go through labor and delivery without any medication, which is my goal.

Yesterday, your dad and I painted the letters that will hang in your room. They spell out S-O-P-H-I-E, which we've decided will be what we call you. If you're anything like your mom, you'll change your name a couple of times during your life - and that's okay. But you'll start out as Sophia Grace Slevin. :)

I have pictures that I'll be attaching soon - but I'm so excited to be able to decorate your nursery with a little something we made you.

Ultrasounds

Here's a collection of all of the ultrasounds we've had. We loved getting to "see" you each time - and since we won't be seeing you until your birthday, it's always fun to revisit your first photo shoots.

Your debut... (10weeks, 6 days)

...at twelve weeks:

...at 16 weeks (when we discovered that you like to suck your thumb!):

Getting closer...

Only 12 weeks to go (!!) and lots that I want to remember...:

- My "innie" is almost an "outie". Weird!!

- when your dad shines a flashlight on my belly, you kick and do somersaults (to get away from the bright light, I'm sure).

- sometimes you kick so hard that other people can see it!

- you have a tendency to sit right on my bladder, which makes for frequent potty breaks.

- Both Moxie and Marigold love resting their heads/faces on my belly - which is new for both of them. I think they love you already.

- Your room is starting to look a lot like a real nursery. We can't wait to get your changing table and gliding chair/ottoman in there and hang some curtains. It's going to be perfect!

- The other night I had a crazy craving for Chef Boyardee. Weird.

- I ate a whole bag of cheesy poofs in one sitting on Saturday. Impressive!

- Michael Odent's Birth Reborn is making me simultaneously calm and excited about giving birth to you.

BABY SHOWER!!

So today was our first baby shower....thrown by Amy and Gloria at Gloria's new salon. It was a blast!

We played games (guess the melted chocolate bar melted into a diaper), got hair conditioning treatments and scalp massages, and gave ourselves facials. Oh yeah, and we stuffed our faces with veggies and dip, apples and caramel, and of course, pizza. Yum!

I had a great time visiting with everyone and made out with some great loot! And the best part? I came home and your dad had put together the crib, laid down the shag area rug we had purchased for the nursery, and cleaned all of the clippings and landscaping debris up from the yard. What a day!!

Here are the pics:

Our sleepover at Mary's the night before the shower:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13411558@N00/sets/72057594128433675/show/

The shower itself:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13411558@N00/sets/72057594128435230/show/

Infant Care

Last night we started our infant care class, offered through the hospital.

We started out by looking at lots of slides of newborns and getting used to the normal characteristics of their bodies (rashes, spots, pimples, dry patches, flakiness, etc.). This, I'm sure, was in an effort to keep new parents from panicking at the site of any "abnormality."

Two things became clear to me:

1. Babies kind of look like slimy aliens and

2. No matter what you look like, I'm going to absolutely shower you with love and kisses and affection. Slimy alien body and all!

We practiced diapering, dressing and undressing, and bathing baby dolls. It's hard work!! I'm going to have to keep my nails very short so I don't worry about scratching you.

Your dad carried his baby doll like it was the most precious thing in the whole wide world. He was taking this very seriously!

We were asked to share one thing that our parents did that we loved and definitely want to pass on and one thing that we wanted to nip in the bud and not do with our own families. I shared that my mom (your grandma) made up a lullabye for each one of us. They were silly - and sometimes in French - and didn't rhyme...but they were ours. Your dad shared that his parents helped him with his homework every night.

The things we decided not to pass on were - separate dinner times with not much consistency (me) and having so many kids that the attention gets divided too many ways (your dad).

It's good to start thinking of this kind of stuff now - there's a lot that my family did growing up that I loved and some stuff that I wouldn't want to pass on. For example, I loved that we went skiing together every weekend and would come home, exhausted, to eat chili on the couch in front of the TV and a blazing fire. I didn't like how much tv I was allowed to watch as a kid. I would come home from school and watch TV until dinner was ready (several hours!)....and I can still watch too much TV if I'm not careful. I'd hope for a more active, more fulfilling use of after-school time for you.