Our doula is fantastic, by the way. She's hilarious and boisterous and not at all the kind of person you'd imagine to be a doula.

I'm so glad that she (Kirsten) will be attending the birth - she's got her shit together, for sure.

And it's also comforting that we'll know at least one person in the room (since we don't know which midwife will be on call when we go into labor).

I've been reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth which has been a good experience for me. It's nice to read lots of birthing stories that involve no interventions and are POSITIVE experiences, not the nightmares that most people tell you about.

Did you know that lots of women have orgasms during labor? See? Who knew that labor didn't have to be this scary and chaotic thing - that it could be pleasurable?!?!

I'm not saying that I expect labor and birth to be a rocking good time - but I'm open to it being a spiritual, liberating experience. I'm open to having a birth experience that is calm and loving and wonderful.

In order to do that, though, I have to work on losing my fear. I have to be willing to trust my body and the universe and even the painful sensations. I have to surrender to it completely...if I fight it even a little bit, I know I'll experience the terrifying agony that many women speak of.

So I'm practicing relaxing when I feel pain. I'm practicing letting go of all control, surrendering to whatever I'm feeling. It's a hard thing to practice total powerlessness but I know it will serve me well. I just hope I can do it during labor!!