The morning sickness is gone! Praise the lord, hallelujah!

I had an amazing Christmas with the family...it was great to see everyone and I was just so glad to be feeling better.

Brian has been incredibly affectionate and loving since I've been home. It was really hard to be away from each other for the holidays and I know that he was lonely. We're both just so glad to be together at home again.

It's hard for me to believe, but Brian says that he's never been more attracted to me; that I look different to him somehow. That's an amazing thing to hear from your partner.

Amber Tea with ginger root

...is my new best friend.

I visited my herbalist, who recommended that I try this tea. This suggestion came on a day when I wanted to die - easily the sickest I've felt since I've been pregnant.

I came home, made the tea and added a bit of ginger root as Laura suggested. Then, I added some honey to sweeten the deal a bit and VOILA! In fifteen minutes, I felt like a human being again.

It's not a panacea, but it's really helping with the nausea. HALLELUJIA!!!

Also - I went to a meeting tonight and was able to share how being overweight has taken some of the joy out of the pregnancy so far.

So this guy in the meeting told me a story about how he worked out really hard for six months to get ready for a ski trip. He hired a personal trainer, took extra yoga classes, and really focused on his eating habits. He was religious about his workout and eating regimen and went on the ski trip in the best shape of his life. When offered a spot on a helicopter skiing excursion, he jumped at it. After the last run, his friends took a picture of the guy, in the best shape of his life, next to the helicopter on a gorgeous mountain landscape.

So when he got home and developed his film, what was his first thought as he looked at that picture of himself? "Damn, you're still chubby. You have more weight to lose." And therein lies the moral of the story - until we change our perspective, we'll never be totally happy with the way we look, feel, act, whatever. The way we feel about ourselves is a perception - and perceptions can be changed.

Phew

So I did a little research after my last post and I learned all about ectopic pregnancies.

It turns out that ectopic pregnancies (when the fetus grows inside the fallopian tube instead of inside the uterus) usually become apparent at about 6 or 7 weeks. That raised my eyebrow, seeing as how I am 7 weeks pregnant.

Then I learned that they are life threatening for the mother and emergency surgery has to be performed to remove the fetus. That scared the hell out of me.

Then I read that ectopic pregnancies start with dull, rhythmic pain in the lower abdomen but only on one side (my exact symptoms). That got me into the car, headed towards the ER.

Once I got to the ER, the triage nurse thought that I did have an ectopic pregnancy, based on my symptoms. Yikes. But then she said that since my pain wasn't severe, that I would have to wait like everybody else. Fine. I asked how long the wait was and she said "about an hour."

Over FOUR hours later (with one very nervous husband by my side), I finally got seen. I started crying as soon as the doctor introduced herself (which made me feel like an idiot). She was a first year resident and totally understanding and wonderful. She told me that Brian would be allowed back in a minute but they needed to do a couple of tests on me first.

After a quick pelvic exam, the doctor decided that she needed to do an ultrasound. After five or so very tense minutes of her searching around my belly with the ultrasound wand, looking for the fetus, she decided to go get her boss so he could take a look. He was not nearly as nice and I don't think he ever looked at me, just went right to the ultrasound machine, with his back to me, and started moving the wand around my stomach looking for the baby.

That didn't work (and by now I was terrified), so they did what's called a "Transvaginal ultrasound." Basically, that's just a smaller wand that they insert into you and it makes it easier to find really small fetuses (like mine). All of a sudden, a little peanut came into view with an undeniable heartbeat that I could see right there on the monitor. The whole thing was indescribable...to know that what I saw on the monitor was actually inside of me.

And just like that, I knew that everything was okay. It turns out the pain I'd been having is a result of my uterus expanding and pushing on my round ligaments where my obliques meet my hip. Totally normal and nothing to worry about.

And I got to see my little peanut!!

Now I can't wait until January 4, when I get to see more of him/her with a much more sophisticated ultrasound machine. They'll be able to print out pictures for me and I will scan them and post 'em up here. Woo hoo!

Have I mentioned that I love being pregnant??

I've been feeling these weird little pains in my lower left abdomen every ten minutes or so for the last 24 hours. It's not really painful, just kind of annoying. It feels a little bit like a pinched nerve...

Anyway, I called the triage nurse today and left a message. She left a message on my voice mail a few hours later that I should go immediately to the emergency room.

Of course I'm a little freaked out, especially since this is my first pregnancy and I have no idea what's going on. But I also feel like she's overreacting a bit and that this isn't as big of a deal as she's making it out to be.

Luckiest ever

In addition to virtually constant nausea, I've had an onset of migraines and mood swings like I"ve never had before. I'm constantly tired and can't motivate to get myself off the couch.

Still, as I was crouched on the bathroom floor the other day vomitting for the first time, I surprised myself by feeling incredibly lucky. So few women are as privileged as I am.

I only have to work part time. My job is fairly easy, and I get to work from home. Most of the time, I sit on my couch with my laptop and work. If I need a nap, I take one. If I'm hungry, I make a snack. I don't have to look pretty - hell, I don't even have to get out of my PJ's if I don't want. It's up to me who finds out that I'm pregnant - my nausea and fatigue won't give me away to any colleagues.

I go to school full time, where people are excited for me and constantly want to help. I get massages when I'm tired and learn pressure points that help me fight feeling yucky.

I can afford (though not easily) to take a break after the baby's born and just be a mom.

Because Brian works at a hospital, we have the best health care that anyone can get. My check ups, diagnostics, labor, deliver, hospital stay, everything is 100% free. I get to deliver in a special room designed for families where the partner and the baby get to stay right there with me and it's decorated like an apartment. I get to work with a midwife that listens to me and my needs.

I don't really know anyone that has had so much going for them when they've gotten pregnant. I can't even fathom how lucky I am and how the universe has aligned to make this pregnancy as easy as possible. It doesn't feel easy now, but I'm trying to keep my mind focused on how much I have going for me.

What gives?

The smell of pasta sauce almost made me lose my lunch just now. What gives??? I have had a life long love affair with all things pasta. How is it possible that even just remembering the smell of pasta in meat sauce makes my stomach turn??